Wednesday, 3 December 2008

laughing and crying

I followed a link on a friend's blog and did this quiz.

It suggested that...


I am a
Snapdragon


What Flower
Are You?



and came with the comment...
"Mischief is your middle name, but your first is friend. You are quite the prankster that loves to make other people laugh."

I haven't laughed so much in ages.

Which is just as well, as this one made me cry.

10 comments:

Lucy said...

Oh wow thanks for posting that link to the post on 3rd culture kids. I was o/s for less than 2yrs as a child and I still feel the effects of it now (20yrs later) but I thought maybe I was just a bit odd! I do think though that the ways kids are helped to adjust (or not helped) makes a huge difference to their adjustment. I really wish the circumstances of our return to Australia had been different, and that my parents had had more understanding of the grief we kids had about losing all that was familiar to us.

20/20 hindsight is a wonderful thing isn't it!

I've only just found your blog so excuse my ignorance, but are you planning to return to Vanuatu, or are you here permanently?

Rachael said...

Hi Lucy,
We're only in Australia for Christmas and will be back in Vanuatu for another two years.

Rachael said...

And Lucy, if you don't mind my asking a few questions... where did you go and how old were you and what do you think the effects were?

Lucy said...

No problem Rachael :) I lived in a tiny village in Kenya when I was 7 and 8 (about 1 3/4 yrs in total).

In terms of the effects... in the short term I had NO IDEA how to relate to kids in Australia (that may have been partly because we didn't really mix with local kids in Kenya, but had a fairly intense relationship with another Aussie family). I was naturally a very shy kid and found it so hard to know what to talk about with other kids. I tended to want an intense friendship with just one other person at a time, and it was kind of my "thing" that I was different because of my different experiences. I tended to go off on my own alot and do things by myself by choice because I felt no-one else was like me if that makes sense. I wasn't particularly unpopular or anything, but looking back I can see I was pretty odd!

In the long term it doesn't affect me as much anymore, but it's still a struggle to join new groups and have deep friendships. I don't think I've ever maintained a good friendship for more than a few years (maybe because once we were back here I changed schools a few times?). Esp in regards to relationships (escept with my husband) I feel like I have to learn how to do things in a very deliberate way, like I would learn a new skill eg knitting or something. I don't know if that makes much sense... it's late!

I do feel that the circumstances surrounding our return to Australia (we thought we were coming back for a few months but never went back, so never got to say goodbye to people, places, pets etc) did not help at all, and the fact the other family we had been in Kenya with returned to a different state and we hardly saw them for years didn't help either. My mum went back to work soon after we got back (which she says now was a big mistake) and my memory is that there was little or no allowances made for the fact that we (kids) were grieving the loss of everything we held dear and weren't really supported through issues with friends at school etc. So the homecoming was a bit of a disaster! I'm sure things could be much easier if they were handled differently!

Hope that's some help... let me know if you want to know anything else (not that my life is very fascinating I can assure you!). Hope you enjoy your Aussie Christmas!

PS I've known a few people who've been missionaries in Vanuatu btw - it's great to "meet" someone who's over there now! I'll keep following your blog to see what you're up to :)

Rachael said...

Thanks Lucy. That's really helpful for me as I consider what our children are feeling now, and what they will feel whenever we do return permanently.

Erin said...

Wow, Lucy, I totally relate to everything you said. Especially what you said about having 'normal' relationships is a deliberate skill that you have to learn (and put into practise each and every day, I'm still working on that).

But Rachael it's not all bad. As I said there are many great things about being a thrid culture kid. And I've known TC kids who settled back in realatively easily.

It definately helps to have parents who think about things and prepare and support their children - which it is obvious you are doing.

Hannah Blake said...

Guess what? I'm a snapdragon too!! Although I'm not convinced that that description is really true for me either...

Hope things are going well for you in Australia. Seems like Sophie's enjoying school well enough! Great to see Glen at SPRTE- maybe we'll see you while we're in the mountains.

Rachael said...

Sophie is enjoying school. There've been some glitches to iron out (we're not so "touchy" in Australia). I don't know whether it will help the eventual adjustment to a Australian culture or not...

Rachael said...

Hannah... prankster... oxymoron.

Erin said...

lol, I'd forgotten about that.
It's funny I'm not a fan of people I don't know well touching me here, but when I was back on the Talua mission in Araki some of the girls were very touchy and it didn't phase me at all. I guess it's all about switching between the two cultures.